It’s the thing that stops you from doing what you want to do. That thing that keeps you from opening up, exploring, and getting to know your true self. It locks you in a suspended state of discomfort that you consider to be “just life”. Well, life doesn’t have to be this way. It wasn’t designed to be hell on earth.
We continue with the status quo because we assume that life is supposed to be a struggle. We’ve been told by loved ones or elders that if it comes easily, then it’s not worth it. We have believed that if we have to fight tooth and nail for something that it makes achieving that goal so much better. It’s why we stick it out in occupations that aren’t fulfilling. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to continue working the job you don’t like. You can, in fact, get out! That thing that keeps you trapped from being yourself and living out your dreams is fear.
I’ve had to come to grips with fear for the better. All of these dreams inside of me were being constantly deferred because of my fears. But what was I actually afraid of? Success? Heck no. I want to be on top, ride high, and be the queen of my castle… or so I’d say. I know I’m more than capable of handling that. I’m smart, talented, driven, a motivator. I can practically write the book on all this accomplishment stuff.
A big part of my fear wasn’t “ok, how do I get there?” I’ve been this goal-getter my entire life. I enjoy the building, the process, and the obstacles. The big question is “but how do I stay there?” What I didn’t know how to maintain that higher level. That’s something I’d never been taught and something no one ever talked to me about. You got to the top. Now what?
This is unknown territory. How do you spend all your time, energy, and determination on accomplishing something and then don’t know what in the world to do once you actually get there?! This is where I have been for some time. This is why it’s hard for me to celebrate accomplishments. What in the hell am I supposed to do now?
Figure it out.
I don’t expect to have all the answers. What I do know is I am committed to acknowledging my accomplishments, celebrating them, and continuing to build on them. When I actually take into account all that I have done thus far, I realize that I am maintaining my success. This is a work in progress and there will be times that I start to fall off, but there will be even more times when I hold my head high and realize that I am living out my own dreams.
*This is part of a series in conjunction with Black Girl Beautiful about Fighting Your Fears.*